Reports emerging from the Centre of Excellence, aka Lagos, reveal that an alarming shortage of soy sauce has hit the city. Our intrepid resident, Trevor the Ward reports in a state of shock. ” I no lie! It’s a true! The Oriental Hotel, that Chinese built, owned, designed, outfitted, cuisined(?!), get the gist, it’s PRC all over, has NO SOY SAUCE!”. Said the waiter, who said his name was Tunde, but asked not be named “My name is Tunde. I sent for it the soy sauce, then I asked the Chinese kitchen for some, they said ‘we n

o have am’ (bruddy riars), so I sent to the Chinese Restaurant for some (oh yes, I got the smarts, me), they said ‘we no have am’. Mr Trevor said he couldn’t believe me, I should go across to the Four Points Hotel and get some. That’s not funny, Mr Trevor”.

So, the TTT from Yenagoa applies to Lagos too – Bring a Bottle means “tuck a little bottle of soy sauce in your handbag”!

Where will this end! (breaking news – Trevor’s about to ask for Chinese Tea.
Don’t do it, Trevor!)